When it comes to love, imperfect can be good.

Why? Because striving for perfection doesn’t work. It’s exhausting and soul destroying and put quite simply we’re not designed for it.

Let me give you an example: a single client of mine wants to be loved, really loved. This isn’t unusual; we all want to feel loved. She’s attractive, bright, fun, caring and kind, all the things most people want in a partner.

This woman feels trapped and unable to find love and it’s not because she doesn’t actively go out and meet new people. She’s trapped because deep down she’s terrified of being ‘found out’. So to avoid being exposed as less than perfect, she dates Mr Wrong; after all it’s never going to work anyway, right? Whilst there’s a degree of logic in here, the problem is that once Mr Wrong turns out once again to be Mr Wrong, she is devastated at being rejected.

What’s stopping this woman from finding and giving and receiving the love she’s desiring isn’t her inability to love or be loved; it isn’t even the fact the chooses Mr Wrong. What stops her is her own unwillingness to acknowledge and accept the very nature of being human: imperfection and it’s her imperfections that make her feel trapped.

You’re not perfect; I’m not perfect. Let’s all stop caring about even trying to be-  it simply repels the very things you may be working to achieve, receive or feel.

Accept the fundamental nature of being you, including the imperfections. Accepting those opens your heart to accept the other parts of you too: the love, peace, joy and desire for connection that also exists inside. From this space, openness and acceptance, you will find love; simply because in this space you are love. From this space you can be Mrs Right and within this space, there’s room for Mr Right.

If you feel you need a little help with this process, try our flower essence Loving Kindness. It’s a gentle little supporter that assists you to love and appreciate yourself and others.

If you would like to have more fulfilling relationships, spend time BEing with people, not just in body but in mind and presence. If this is hard for you, and it is for millions of people, a good place to start is by practicing acknowledging your senses. Really look and listen to your partner with as open a heart as you can manage. Smell and taste the meal you eat together and share the experience.

Want to change something about yourself or an aspect of your life? We know that if you want to do this you’re going to need motivation, perhaps will power, a decent plan and something some of you are less keen on: self examination.

Christmas is a happy, family time- right? A time for good will and being ‘merry’- right?

From what some of you tell me, this isn’t always your experience…

If Christmas is proving to be a little stressful you might like to try to remember the following: